Well I have gotten a lot of feedback from everyone that I am so positive that there is no way I always feel like that. The whole truth is that 98% of the time I feel truly optimistic and grateful that we are able to deal with this newly discovered tumor. Seriously I do not say things that I do not mean, that's just not me! If I choose to say it then I entirely mean it! That being said last night was horrible. The most frustrating part is that yesterday I felt great, maybe looking back I over did it. But seriously it is hard to feel kinda ok and just sit on your rump. I SOOOOOO miss the gym, I so miss driving, I so miss going to my kids school... ok this could go on forever, I miss everything. So yesterday when I had a lil energy I cleaned, vacuumed, and even made a meal which made me nervous (just in the event that I do have a seizure and am holding something hot or glass in my hand? oh well) All of these very mundane motherly tasks I SOOOO enjoyed, you know just a bit of purpose is always good. Then Bryson and I laughed our way through the night while enjoying our favorite tv comedies! Then as soon as we jumped in bed I started to feel weird. At first I simply could not go to sleep, then I started to feel numbness and tingling in in my right cheek just below my eye! Then the blurred vision came to my right eye, and before I knew it I was up ALL NIGHT (lame!) This morning we checked with the dr and he again increased my anti seizure meds (keppra.) The funny thing is I have had this before about 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a sinus infection for the exact same thing? Pretty sure it was a sign of my tumor but it's impossible to tell when you have had previous CT Scans and MRI's and they saw/found nothing. And you struggle with migraine headaches which do give blurred vision? So the short story is that there were probably some early signs of a tumor? But I am grateful for where I am at now! The good news is that the steroid that I am on to help with the swelling on my brain is helping and my headaches are all but gone! AWESOME!
I have to thank everyone for their love and support! I know I keep saying it but I am in good hands. It has been amazing how in the last week many many many people have shared with me their personal stories of brain surgery with Dr. Randy Jensen. Or even just how they have worked with him! Seriously people I have not seen or talked to in 10 plus years. It is so comforting to have so many people aware of me and my situation!
Countless people have helped us in so many ways and we are SO GRATEFUL! I have learned through this whole experience not to ever ignore a thought or impression to go and help someone. I have had people call or arrive at the perfect moment and I know it was meant to be. I know that personally I have ignored some of my impressions/inspirations because I did not want to bother that particular person in need. But I am here to testify that they are on purpose and that they do make a difference, even if you just stop by to visit. Just feeling loved and cared for is a huge gift and blessing!
The goal for tonight is to SLEEP! wish me luck :)
I have to thank everyone for their love and support! I know I keep saying it but I am in good hands. It has been amazing how in the last week many many many people have shared with me their personal stories of brain surgery with Dr. Randy Jensen. Or even just how they have worked with him! Seriously people I have not seen or talked to in 10 plus years. It is so comforting to have so many people aware of me and my situation!
Countless people have helped us in so many ways and we are SO GRATEFUL! I have learned through this whole experience not to ever ignore a thought or impression to go and help someone. I have had people call or arrive at the perfect moment and I know it was meant to be. I know that personally I have ignored some of my impressions/inspirations because I did not want to bother that particular person in need. But I am here to testify that they are on purpose and that they do make a difference, even if you just stop by to visit. Just feeling loved and cared for is a huge gift and blessing!
The goal for tonight is to SLEEP! wish me luck :)
I am soooo rooting for you! I just want to let you know that even though we don't know each other personally, I care and I really admire your spirit! I hope you don't mind my keeping up with your blog (I came on it by chance last week and I'm so glad I did).
ReplyDeleteYou are such an amazing person Summer. Your attitude and outlook are remarkable and that will buoy you up in your recovery as you overcome this adversity that has been placed in your path. I couldn't be more proud of the kind of daughter, mother, friend, and wife you are. Love Papa
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