A beautiful life

Do you remember the movie A Beautiful Life? Well it has been bouncing back and forth in my mind today. I remember going to see it on a date when I was in high school. I had no idea what type of movie it was and knew nothing about it. As it began I was like "Uh we are seriously watching a movie with captions?" To say the least I was not prepared for what was to come. The lead actor simply took the audience onto a train of inner thoughts, happiness, and beauty. HE WAS HE HAPPY. He helped others who were around him to be happy. When his son entered the Nazi concentration camp he continued to see life as a beautiful place. Straight up I realize my life is NOTHING like that, and please know I am not comparing. But I can not help but compare my mind to his. It has been such a powerful tool. I truly wish that every single person could experience the love I have felt without going through any struggles. I have felt the love, kindness, prayers, compassion, positivity, service and the plain old happiness of the world. I am here to tell you that it is such a GORGEOUS place encompassed in JOY! In five days I have learned a lot about myself and I can honestly say I am proud of the person that I am. And I'm sure I am going to grow so much from this little trial. It's funny because I have always prided myself of being the toughest girl I know :) But sometimes strength is shown is different ways, so for now I am going to focus on growing and becoming more refined. If there is one thing that "something scary" can do it is put life into true perspective. Only the big things matter and it's up to us to discern the big things.

My family and my friends are my world. And somehow it seems like people either show up at the perfect moment or send me the perfect message. Honestly feel free to just stop by. I have had so many requests and I can not respond to them all. But you are welcome and I would love to see old friends :) Also for all you cyclists please come and pick bryson up for a ride. we are going to need moments of normalcy to get through this and I have countless friends who can come and hang while Bryson gets a break :)

As for me I want to not only be positive but truthful so... I have great times where you would hopefully know nothing was wrong. I also have times where my headaches are so severe I can not even get out of bed or fall asleep. My migraines come on like lightening and have no warning. My muscle twitches are also making sleeping nearly impossible. I do have to think quite hard to sound normal and smart.  Last night Bryson and I went out on a date and it was AMAZING, for a brief time I felt like Summer and it was such a blessing. Unfortunately around 2 am everything turned and i felt like my head was going to explode. I am looking forward to having my case go to Huntsman and finally have some type of surgery schedule.